She pulls another name, this time
from the dead,
and turns to me in that way that parents do
so you feel embarrassed or ashamed of something.
Romantic? she says,
reading the name out loud, slowly,
so I am aware of each syllable, each vowel
wrapping around the bones like new muscle,
the sound of that person’s body
and how reckless it is,
how careless that his name is in one pile and not the other.

- - -

I had a moment yesterday, listening to a song, and I couldn't figure out why the song struck such a chord in me until it dawned on me that Mad and I have not, in fact, always been together. It seemed strange and suddenly painful to realize that he hasn't always been a part of me. Feels like it tho. I am grateful for it. <3

also my cleavage.



I am going to wear the crap out this thing.


my son is a total camwhore. I can't even turn on the webcam without him demanding I take pictures or videos of him.


Thank you thank you thank you siyu!!!!! <3<3

It's stock photography. They sell it. You know why? So people will use it. Crazy, I know...but it's TRUE! Me? I bought some, with a license! And you know what I did? I USED IT!

ohmyfuckinggod.

I've worked as hard as anyone to prevent content theft in sl, to the point where I no longer give a flying fuck about getting ripped off. I've even considered a life of pure piracy as they do so little to prevent it. But alas...my scruples will not allow it. After five a half years there, I run out of ideas sometimes. So I used stock photography. Which, again, is sold for the purpose of being used. Like clip art. It's fucking amazing.

Sue me.

Well I ordered the tattoo shite. My daughter is, as always, convinced that this will somehow ruin her life. I need to find some way to get her involved that'll make her realize I'm not like my neighbour, doing back alley tats out of her living room with no autoclave. That I'm serious.
And if she doesn't oh well. I can only put so much of my own life on hold, and this isn't one of those things I'm willing to compromise on. I'll take pictures of my pathetic attempts on practice skin for all y'all.

Nit, I owe you a badass birthday tattoo. I love you madly.

<3

it's my bnirthday tomorrow

i'm fucking crunk.


happy birthday!!!

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Dentist finally called, YAY. LL closed my island transfer ticket because they're fucking DUMB and one little thing wasn't in place, so instead of NOTIFYING me, they just closed it. So now the island transfer won't go through on time. I could seriously hurt them. I'll have to see if he can just transfer the money to me instead, because I really cannot afford it again this month. I'm a bit too medicated to care much about anything tho.

So...yeah.

Oh I'm tired. And my retardedly reliable dentist for some reason responded to none of the three pages I sent, so i gave up and left a message on their normal phone to see if I could get in monday. I don't really want to be in heinous pain for two more days but....I've kinda reached the end of what I can do there. I refuse to see a different dentist. My tooth has crossed the border into hurtsville and I am unhappeh. Also tired because it was apparently a good night for nightmares last night. Not mine, mind you. I'm the one that gets to be the comforter, and I kinda dig that. But it does leave me tired when comforting is required at 3 and 6 am.

I broke down and ordered hot wing pizza tonight for dinner. I couldn't afford it but god it sounded like pure orgasm, and it so was. I got a big one so I could eat leftovers for the next two days.

Got the grindhouse shite done and now I have to pull some magic out of my ass for the diamond dogs show. But I work very proficiently under pressure. Mad says I put myself under pressure on purpose. Maybe he's right. I prefer not to work at all unless I've got a deadline.

Now I'm delightfully full and I SO want a nap.

Alas.

there is enough treachery, hatred violence absurdity in the average
human being to supply any given army on any given day

and the best at murder are those who preach against it
and the best at hate are those who preach love
and the best at war finally are those who preach peace

those who preach god, need god
those who preach peace do not have peace
those who preach peace do not have love

beware the preachers
beware the knowers
beware those who are always reading books
beware those who either detest poverty
or are proud of it
beware those quick to praise
for they need praise in return
beware those who are quick to censor
they are afraid of what they do not know
beware those who seek constant crowds for
they are nothing alone
beware the average man the average woman
beware their love, their love is average
seeks average

but there is genius in their hatred
there is enough genius in their hatred to kill you
to kill anybody
not wanting solitude
not understanding solitude
they will attempt to destroy anything
that differs from their own
not being able to create art
they will not understand art
they will consider their failure as creators
only as a failure of the world
not being able to love fully
they will believe your love incomplete
and then they will hate you
and their hatred will be perfect

like a shining diamond
like a knife
like a mountain
like a tiger
like hemlock

their finest art